I was checking my email the other day and I got one of those delightful messages that tells you that someone has sent you a message on OkCupid. Quickly, before looking at the profile, I read his message. It read: Hey I love to travel and I could help you change that tire. My profile mentions my love of travel and how I’m inept at changing tires. I thought, “Ok, good start.” Then I glanced at the photo and age. 18 years old. Gulp. Yikes. I’m 38. I could be his mother. He’s not even old enough to buy me a drink!

And normally, I wouldn’t respond. And I didn’t. But then he wrote me again. Heeeey. So, I decided to respond for the sake of my blog with no intentions of meeting him, of course. That’s just gross and too Jerry Springer-like for me. Our conversation went as follows: Me: Hi, what do you want with an older woman like me? Him: Everything you can offer a guy like me. Me: You’re not even old enough to buy me a drink!

Him: I can give you more than drinks [SS note: What, a ride on his scooter?] Me: so, I’m a dating blogger & I’d love to write about why you’re interested in a 38 year old. Would you be open to telling me why? I’ll hide your identity. Him: Only if you tell me things about you that I ask. Me: As long as I’m comfortable with the questions, I will. Him: Bra size? [SS Note: ah, yes, he's where we're reminded yet again that this is just a kid. No man asks a woman this question.] Me: I have no clue. I wear European sizes from a specialty store. Him: Why? Me: Because they’re good quality. Then he asked me a very inappropriate and dirty question. I cut off the dialogue at that point.

I should have realized this was going to happen, when I later looked at his profile and it read: The most private thing I’m willing to admit: my dick size A few days later I told my family, including my 20 year old nephew, about this exchange. My nephew asked if I was going to “tap that.” I told him that it made me grossed out just thinking about it. Then I showed him the guy’s picture. He said I should not meet him. I think I’ll stick to men my own age who don’t ask me my bra size and have already graduated from college. But it’s good to know that I still got it. Wink. Wink.